NEW VIDEO!! The last individual Eurovision review. Switzerland this time. P.S. It’s not pretty!
Eurovision 2013 - My notes on all entries
(I’m doing a “Eurovision Special” on my YouTube channel, so here are my notes I made during my first viewing of each entry.)
Albania
Rock celebrity squares?
1st lead singers looks like Roman from Party Down aye?
Guitar solo + flames – me like
Melting soldiers
Armenia
Strong eyebrows
Melodic rock song, good to see
Cool technique w/ shirts and videos on them
Choras riff good
Something about bettering world
Don’t know if heard guitar solo in Eurovision song recently
Good singer
Want to look up more of their songs
Austria
Opening lighting doing nothing for her
Outfit – come straight from work? Jeans?
Big note and fireworks from ceiling – classic Eurovision
Azerbaijan
Why not dressed up?
Four randoms – as backup singers?
Winging about needing a hug
Generally unimpressed
Random audience shot of uncomfortable girls
Belarus
Plastic chair
Replayo isn’t a word
Enough wind machine?
BDSM harness
Stupid mini gloves
On beach for no reason
Belgium
“Felt so deep like she never felt so deep before”???
Groping pecks
Massive background umbrella
Dubstep?
Meh
Bulgaria
Man trapped in 80s
Drums cool – playback or live?
Holding mic far enough from face love?
Very eastern euro feel
Not impressed – not disappointed
Croatia
Ten tenors shit going on here
Why
Woman in crowd texting – love it
Over! Yay!
Cyprus
In field
In ruins
Rear pond
On beach?
Being chased w/ breasts prominent
Nothing happened!
Denmark
Just chillin on the floor – hippie
Drummers in line?
Flute? Folk music?
Amazing camera work at 2:20
Estonia
Just standing there
Some awaying
More swaying
Camera panning
Random backing singers in dark – but I see them!
MOVE!
Finally walks forward
FYR Macedonia
Random clock
Singers alright looking - but why so casual?
Woman/ drag queen comes out + sings
Left fallen mic on stage?
Finland - Watch video review here.
Finnish T. Swift?
Living in caravan
Butt slap w/ other chick
Homoerotic valet? –husband hot [as in actor who plays potential husband is hot]
Enough eye make up
Mullet wedding dress
Dies @ end?
France
Black magic paraphernalia + this chick chillin w/ it
Anything going to happen?
Leaves room
Drums
Voodoo shit
Whatever
Georgia
Mixed duo
Wind + fabric
Maze? Period costumes?
Random fields + shit
Big note
Lens flare
Germany
Walking around a palace in unflattering outfits
Random ballerinas
Too much arms
Random gold shit falling from above
Nothing happened!
Greece
Kilts?
Moldova from 2011?
I don’t even know
Followed by old man w/ moustache
Teh song is a lie lol – alcohol costs money
Brought old man to concert
Hungary
Catchy + colourful
Slightly insane broken animations
Catchy as fuck
Face @ end – is that the guy?
Iceland
Hairy yet attractive man loads boat to go fishing
Cool animation bit – shits cute
Gutting fish like a real man
Cuts finger – is he gonna die?
1st song I came across not in English
Falls overboard? Climbs back – finger seems fine
Ireland
No Jedward?
Random graphics + man in black
Fucking hell
Looks like sex offender in glasses
Stupid awful love + word + stars + shit graphics
Dubstep?
Randoms making heart w/ hands
Israel
Contradicting look – jazzy hipster?
Another ballad? - Meh
Nice
Italy
Help w/ dishes lazy fuck
Think you’re hot w/ sideburns
So uncomfortable right now
Jumps in water w/ band?
Is he gonna drown?
Wtf factor enough to be annoying, not enough to be cool
Latvia
Just jacket no shirt – nice one
Electro/ rock/ pop?
Rapping?
Interlude
Nice arse in the silver
More rapping?
Dubstep beatboxing w/ harmonising?
I’d pash silver pants
Lithuania
Eyebrow raise makes my vagina close
Move! Just standing there
Paying conductor
Boring +weird
Really the best you could do Lithuania?
Malta
Hanging in the park like wtf
Love story?
Jeremy’s hot as fuck
What’s up w/ those chicks? What do they do in band?
Riding on back of truck
“She character” off her face in cinema
Some parts so badly acted
Moldova
Projection onto dress – nice
Is that girl ok? Does she need food?
Dancers + piano etc
Trapped in dress
Montenegro - Watch video review here.
Lap dance to empty chair
Breaking bad suits? – rapping
Dubstep
Twerk contest
Elizabethan costumes
Belly dancing
Pirates? Drum line?
Bikini fighting in cage
Angle grinding
Half naked old guys
Norway
What’s up w/ feeding someone love?
Great camera awareness
Not going to talk about how she looks banging in that dress
Random drummer who’s obviously responsible for playing ALL the other instruments too
Netherlands, The
Youtube video budget?
Old jazz voice
Tuck hair behind headphones
Nice song, sweet +shit
Romania - Watch video review here.
Magician
Dancers
Falsetto?
I’m uncomfortable
More falsetto? No please stop!
Dubstep
Big falsetto note
Russia
Is this come sappy ballad?
Random audience members swaying along + smiling with less enthusiasm than a fat kid eating a salad
Breakdown + piss weak mosh pit
No
San Marino
Hugging lamp?
Dancing in shadow
Old woman + I’m pretty bag
Randoms – young girls, old couple
Origami
Still hugging lamp
Acro tissue
Old couple hug
Covered in tissue – not just big dress
Serbia
Mullet dress
Devil costume + awkward dancing
Gold outfit? What’s theme?
Long hair, short skirts – very Eurovision
No clapping @ end? - dubbed over audience/ lip syncing?
Slovenia
Dubstep + shutter blinds/ lasers
Mirror rooms
Random solo male dancer
Ripped shirtless guy – having shower? No, a bath.
Singer not naked – good one, you go love!
Spain
Horse + Beach
Cliffs
Woman on cliff
Massive eyes
Candles + Band
Walking w/ horse
Riding horse
Sweeping shots
Sweden
Pop/ pop rock?
Cool dancer outfits?
What’s with the jacket?
Fireworks + big note
Underwhelming
Switzerland
For fucks sake
Can’t strap double bass to car out of it’s case!
Cheesier than cheese
Nice scenery
One guy pretty hot
Pissing on side of road
Gangnam style?
Ukraine
Walking around some fantasy forest which is on a floating landmass?
More costume changes than someone w/ DID
Unicorns – So fake!
UK
Bonnie Tyler found time in her chocka schedule to do Eurovision
Bonnie sitting around some abandoned house then going to some, I think, beach
Not saying if this was her big stand alone comeback song, no one would listen to it, but I’m implying that.
Bangs softly on door frame – go for it Bonnie!
No costume changes
Nicole’s Life Tips #4
Put the toilet lid down.
Not only does this solve the issue of ‘toilet seat up/ down’, but it also means when you flush, piss and shit particles don’t become airborne, and hang around where you can ingest said particles.
When guys tell me they like my comedy, I’m not sure if that means they want to get in my pants right then and there,
Or if they want to get into my pants at a later, mutually convenient day.
I used to think “cracker” was a slang word for white people because most crackers (the snack food) are white, I didn’t know it had anything to do with cracking whips, that’s some shit.
